I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
