also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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