I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
