I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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