My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
