I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
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