Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
only you would photoshop your dick
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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