That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
