Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
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He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
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I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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