maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
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Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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