My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
