can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
