I don't remember. Are we still dating?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
