and next time when you feel me up, do it right
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We talked him into tasing himself.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
