He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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