I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
