One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
