Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
