god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
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i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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