Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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