IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think your dad took our porno
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
