yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
