You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
