im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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