you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Redeem this text for a blowjob
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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