Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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