the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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