I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So squirting runs in the family.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
