There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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