Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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