i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
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