Are we in a gay sports bar?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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