yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
