Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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