So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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