Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
