She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Ladies don't puke and tell
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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