I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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