i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
