i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
my poor anus
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
