she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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