plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My breasts were aching with rage.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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