dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
