well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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