so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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