Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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