Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
