I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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