Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
