why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
