I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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