He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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