Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
