Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
