just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize