i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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