i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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