i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
