the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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