dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize