she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
