I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
