I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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